The meaning of life

What is the meaning of life? This age-old question has given many the cause to search for an answer. With each friend or loved one that passes away, the answer becomes more clear.

Last month my friend Damien died in a windsurfing accident. This past week Rodger Campbell, a fellow musician, passed on in the early morning hours of the day a benefit in his honor took place. Both were kind and gentle souls who touched the lives of those they met, who gave of themselves freely, and who will be missed by many.
Life goes on for the rest of us, and with it a responsibility to live the best we can, trying to make the lives of those around us better.

My recent battle with breast cancer has given me the opportunity to search my heart for answers. What I found was this:
~Each day is a beautiful gift.
~The best time to do something you care about is now. Don't wait for "someday".
~When you open up your heart to give, you are also open to receive.
~Live each day in gratitude.
~Love does not come from us, but through us.

If heaven is a place we create, then I know that Damien is boarding on the river, Rodger is playing music, and someday I will be there too, singing and dancing, grateful to have been given this amazing journey through life.

At last it becomes so clear. What is the meaning of life?
The answer is simple and pure: LOVE.

Pure Love

I was asked recently how I can have so much love inside of me.
I answered, "It's not MY love, it just flows through me."
How do I describe what pure love feels like?
It goes beyond our bodies and takes me to a place of oneness.
And In that place I feel God by my side, rejoicing in that sharing of love.

Breitenbush

Breitenbush

Here in this forest
where we first met
I still feel traces of you.

Like the last shadows of light
cling to the day
before the night falls,
thoughts of you still cling to me,
filling my heart with longing.

Walking on these trails
where you once held my hand
I reach out again
and feel the emptiness.

But still the beauty of this place
surrounds me…..
I breathe deeply and inhale
the memory of you.

Rishell
June 2008

The "C" word

No one likes to talk about it, but sometimes it gets right in your face and you have no choice but to meet and intruduce yourself to it ....cancer.
I never thought I'd find myself there, but thanks to early detection I found out that I had breast cancer. I always thought I would freak out to hear that news, but somehow a calm came over me and I knew I had to handle it in a matter of fact, keep on smiling kind of way.
The surgery removed the cancer, now the key is stopping it from returning, although I haven't found out yet what those treatment options will be.
Before my surgery Lacey and I went out dancing at Jack's...a going-away party for my breasts such as they were. I had no idea how much would be removed, so figured I'd take them "out for a spin" one last time. Thankfully I woke up from my surgery and found out that they didn't look drastically different , and my dear surgeon even gave into my request not to take out my nipple piercings! (A trivial request, but it was important to me!)
So now I wait....listen to the proposed treatment plan....get a second opinion...make a decision....follow up.....count my blessings... and still say to myself what a beautiful journey life is!

Happy Birthday Charlie

On your birthday, I wish I could say thank you to:

Your mom...for giving you life 50 years ago, and for raising you to be such a good boy.

The men who showed you how to treat women with respect and adoration.

The person who taught you to laugh your way through life.

Your ex-wife, for giving you a son, allowing you to have the joy of being a father.

The women who taught you to love.

The ones who guided you on the path to finding your beautiful spirit.

The energy that brought you and I to the same place at the same time.

I am so thankful for all of the ones who helped you to become the wonderful person that you are, and thankful that you are a part of my life!

This Dance

This Dance

If this dance is almost over
let's stop now
before it comes to an end.

I don't want to walk away
with feelings of regret
or shame
or sorrow.

Instead, I will back away from you
while I can still see your smiling face,
with tears full of gratitude,

and the beautiful music
that was our love,
not yet faded away in the night.

Rishell
January 2, 2008

"She Who Watches"

This is the ancient petroglyph named Tsagaglalal, most commonly called "She Who Watches".

To the native americans she was a place of great power and wisdom. Even today, being in her presence is a very moving experience.

The following is a poem I wrote the first time I went to see her.

It was the start of the spiritual journey I am now on.

“She Who Watches”

Earth Mother, you have been calling to me
For years now.
Finally, today, I came to see You.

High up on the rocks,
You looked down upon me
And I felt in your gaze the years of pain you have endured.

My blood flowed from my moon cycle,
My tears flowed from my soul,
And I understood how we, as women,
Have suffered for centuries
The blood and tears of our people~
Giving life, loving, dying…

What hands carved you into stone,
So many years ago?
And for what purpose?
Perhaps just to tell us, who come to You,
That life is a journey
We must live the best we can~

That changes will happen.
There will be joy and sorrow along the way.
But in the end, we all get
The same chance to live,
To use our gifts wisely,
To share with others the love
We are meant to give.



Rishell Graves
May 13, 2005